If you’ve ever moved with kids, whether across town or across the globe, you’ve likely heard that heart-tugging question “Mom, when can we go home?”. Maybe you’ve also felt it yourself: the quiet longing for familiar streets, favorite cafes, and friends who know your name. Moving can feel like hitting the reset button on life, and for children, that “reset” can be both exciting and deeply unsettling.

However, with the right approach, you can help your child feel safe, connected, and at home, no matter where you land.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Moving

Think about it: children aren’t just packing toys and books, they’re packing memories, friendships, and parts of their identity. Research shows that frequent moves can lead to higher stress, fewer close friendships, and even academic setbacks in kids. I mean, I can’t count the number of teen movies I’ve seen, where the kid that always has to change schools after every move is portrayed as the emotionally detached & angsty kid. But that doesn’t always have to be the case; when kids are supported emotionally, moving can actually make them more adaptable, resilient, and open-minded .

In other words, how we guide our children through transitions matters more than how many times we move.

Why Kids Struggle (and How to Help Them Cope)

1. Homesickness & “Missing the Old Life”

Children mourn their old home like a loss, they miss friends, familiar parks, even the smell of their bedroom. Psychologists call it a rollercoaster of emotions . The best approach? Validate their feelings: say, “I miss it too. It’s okay to miss how things used to be.” Keep old connections alive with video calls or photo walls, but also encourage new experiences so they don’t get stuck in nostalgia.

2. Culture Shock & Feeling “Different”

If you’ve moved across cultures, your child may feel like an outsider. Research shows language barriers and cultural differences are big stressors for kids . Here’s what helps:

• Learn basic phrases or customs together before the move, make it fun!
• Maintain your home culture (favorite foods, family traditions) while embracing the new one. Kids who grow up bicultural tend to have higher self-esteem and better mental health .

3. Friendship Loss & Social Anxiety

Walking into a school where everyone already has friends? Terrifying for a child. Younger kids may cling to you, while teens might withdraw. Combat this by:

• Setting up playdates or joining local clubs early.
  
• Encouraging your child to join activities that match their interests (sports, music, coding).
  
• Teaching simple social icebreakers (role-play how to say, “Hi, can I sit with you at lunch?”).
  

Many schools now run “buddy programs” for new students, which have been shown to ease the transition significantly .

Parenting Strategies That Make a Move Feel Like “Home”

The research is clear: you are your child’s anchor. Here are the top strategies experts recommend:

✅ Talk, Listen, and Validate – Create space for your child to express fears or excitement. Even simple acknowledgments like, “This is tough, but we’ll figure it out together,” reduce anxiety .

✅ Give Them Choices – Let them choose their room décor, which toys to unpack first, or which park to visit. Even small choices restore a sense of control .

✅ Keep Family Rituals Alive – Movie nights, bedtime stories, or baking together, these familiar routines are powerful emotional stabilizers .

✅ Be Emotionally Present – One-on-one time, extra hugs, and patient listening go a long way. Military family research shows that warm, responsive parenting buffers stress during transitions .

✅ Model Resilience – Kids absorb your attitude. If you treat the move as an adventure (while being honest about challenges), they’re more likely to feel hopeful too.

What Your Child Will Remember

Years from now, your child may not remember the exact house or neighborhood. What they’ll remember is whether they felt safe, loved, and understood. As one Third Culture Kid put it: “Home isn’t a place, it’s my family.”

So, bake those cookies. Hang those familiar photos. Explore the new city together. And remind your child (and yourself): Home is wherever we build it together.